Grieving the Dream Job…

…and Discovering a New One Inside Herself

Our interviewee for this week’s blog has chosen to remain anonymous. The above image is an AI-generated stock photo.

What were you doing before the layoff—your role and industry?
Managing Consultant at an Accounting and Consulting Firm 

How did the layoff happen, and how did you feel? In what ways do you think the broader tech downturn played a role in your situation?
I joined a recently expanded firm to fulfill a strategic goal, launching new practices and significantly increasing its workforce. While growing pains were expected, they were unprepared for what was to come with the tech industry downturn and the finance industry stumble, which was a large portion of our pipeline. It came to the point where most of the firm was on the bench, and they had to make the difficult decision to downsize. 

When I was laid off, I was blindsided and devastated. I finally found a workplace where I was happy, felt like I mattered, and the culture felt healthy. In addition to my client work, I became heavily involved by joining and starting many internal initiatives. I also developed many relationships with my coworkers. I felt I had finally found a place where I could stay to finish out my career in consulting, and suddenly, it was gone without warning. 

Were there signs of burnout before the layoff, or did that realization come after?
Oddly enough, I had a rude awakening the week before my layoff, alerting me that my high-stress level was significantly impacting several facets of my health. Consulting can easily lead to burnout (and I was on my way there). I knew eventually, I would need an exit strategy, but I certainly didn't expect to be asked to leave. When I found out that I no longer had a job, although I was shocked and devastated, I took it as a sign that I needed a serious break a lot sooner than I thought. 

What helped you regroup emotionally, mentally, or practically?
I think something good that I did initially was just to stop and process it all. I didn't rush immediately into my job search. I grieved the loss and then took time to go back to the drawing board and figure out what I wanted my career to look like moving forward.

Another thing is, since my layoff, I've been able to spend time on things I had long neglected because of work, e.g., house projects, hobbies, reading, and interpersonal relationships. I am more present now, and my life has improved in those regards. I spend a lot of time in nature, discovering new parks and stopping to smell the roses, so to speak. I think that has helped me because whenever I felt discouraged, frustrated, or overwhelmed by all the job application rejections, etc., just going for a hike or a walk or sitting outside brought a calmness that let me know I was going to be OK. I spend a lot of time with my dog as well. He's so happy and energetic that I can never be down for too long when I'm around him. It also helps that I get a lot more sleep now. 

The last thing I did was lean into volunteer work. I have a few staple organizations I've been working with for years, and I signed up for more with them. I also started a couple of ongoing roles that truly keep me connected and give me a sense of purpose. 

And if you're a person of faith, I highly recommend tapping into your faith and leaning on it as a source of strength and comfort. 

What inspired you to start your own thing, and what does that journey look like right now?
Entrepreneurship has always been a life goal of mine since I was a teen, maybe even earlier. It's just something I always knew I would do - definitely expected it to be a few years off from now, though. When I was working, I never made the time to work on my ideas, but with the time that I have now, it just made sense to start fleshing out the various venture ideas I had and start checking their feasibility. I'll be honest, at first I was hesitant to start now, without a steady income, because I felt I needed more money. However, after taking several workshops and doing research, I realized there are so many different ways to navigate funding your business that I didn't need to fear. I'm still applying for full-time roles, but I'm dedicating more and more time to building something for myself as well. I am proud to share that I am in the final stages of registering my business to make it official! 

How has your perspective on work, stability, or success shifted?
I hope this doesn't sound pessimistic, but after this experience and everything that has been going on, stability feels unrealistic. Some of the most secure jobs and professions are no longer secure. Of course, you can try to safeguard yourself as best as you can by making wise financial decisions, investment decisions, job/career selections, etc., but you also have to stay mentally prepared for anything to happen and know that everything you've known can change drastically in the blink of an eye. You have to have a plan B, C, D, E, and an extra emergency plan too. 

In terms of work, I don't think much has changed regarding my perception. I have a very diverse professional background, so I'd like to say that I've always kept an open mind about what work can look like and not let what you do define who you are. 

When it comes to success, I've always been a bit countercultural as it pertains to defining what success means and looks like for me. Yes, you want to have a certain level of financial "stability" to provide a comfortable life for you and your family, and I've always been aware of how society defines success. However, for me, it's less about titles or esteemed employers or money or status, it's about fulfillment. Have I been able to accomplish the things in my life that would make me feel whole and fulfilled? If my younger self met me in the present day, would she be proud of who I am or would she think my life sucks? That's what keeps me up at night.

Honestly, I would say I'm now on a better path to becoming successful on my terms than I was when I had my job, as I have the leeway to dedicate time to those important things that make me feel fulfilled. 

What advice would you give someone going through a similar crossroads?
It is a grueling, daunting journey, especially with this job market and this economy. The longer you've been job-seeking, the more you start to doubt your worth. I cannot count how many times I asked myself if I wasted the past several years of my life. I am a very private person and haven't shared what I've been going through post-layoff with many people, or even the fact that I have been laid off. The reason I decided to do this now is that it has brought me so much solace in knowing I am not alone. There are so many others dealing with the same obstacle, some even longer than I. It doesn't diminish our value, it doesn't diminish our experience, or our ability to contribute, and it doesn't mean we were poor or low performers. These are just the cards that were dealt to us, and we learn how to navigate life in this new reality until the right opportunity comes. 

I'm also going to say trust your gut. There are so many people out there who try to capitalize on our situation and take advantage of job seekers, so please be vigilant. There are also many career and resume advisors and recruiters, and the advice they give can be so conflicting that at one point, I was spending so much time editing to comply with different opinions that I wasn't spending time actually applying. Take some time to read up on industry standards to have a general idea of how to approach your resume, but understand that it's a matter of preference and you have no idea what preferences the recruiter is going to have (if an actual recruiter reviews it at all). You have to get to a point where you accept that some things are just out of your control. So, just give it your best and go with your gut in terms of offers or even interviews you accept. 

You'll have a lot of people who will tell you to just take anything because you need something, but between the job scams, unstable market, and toxic environments, you don't want to accept the wrong thing and find yourself in a worse situation. As much as you can, trust your instincts because if something feels wrong, it just might be.